Self-respect | michaelfeil.com

Posts Tagged ‘self-respect’

Why Am I Here?

June 25th, 2010 by Michael Feil

Today I want to truly write a post from the heart. I have a ton of friends that I interact with on my blog and the social media sites that I frequent and I love the interaction that I have with every one of you. There is a lot of diversity and back grounds out there and I enjoy reading about you all and seeing where you really come from.

So why am I here? Good question. Actually it’s a question I have been asking myself for a while. Hey, I teach to be authentic with your posts and to be real, so I’m just being real. Many of you know that I’m a Christian and first and foremost I am here to serve God and honor Him.

1 Peter 5:2-3
2Just as shepherds watch over their sheep, you must watch over everyone God has placed in your care. Do it willingly in order to please God, and not simply because you think you must. Let it be something you want to do, instead of something you do merely to make money. 3Don’t be bossy to those people who are in your care, but set an example for them.

I honor God by helping people. It may be Biblically related it may not. I may help someone understand the real power of the cross or I may help someone understand the power of social media marketing. But in either case I’m doing it with a servant heart. I’m doing it because I like and want to help people. I want to make a difference in this world.

I’m here to be the best husband to my wife and father to my girls that I can possibly be. God has blessed me with a great family and being self employed I now have the luxury to even be more attentive to them than I did when I was working in Corporate America (except when we are doing a product launch!).

I’m here to be an educator of social media marketing and how to make money online. I love to do it and I enjoy doing it. I love making the connections, interacting with people online, and sharing the principles that have made me successful.

So here’s what I’m dealing with right now. What is my current call in ministry? Ministry is a huge part of my life. The Bible tells us to go out and share what God has done in our lives.

Matthew 28:19-20 19Go to the people of all nations and make them my disciples. Baptize them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, 20and teach them to do everything I have told you. I will be with you always, even until the end of the world.

Believe me, I have done a lot when it comes to ministry. I have started up ministries from scratch, I helped plant a church, I have lead Sunday school, I have preached to my congregation, I have preached to youth, I have organized youth camps, I have volunteered my time for various ministries, etc.

I have seen some amazing miracles come from people fully turning their lives over to God and understanding that they can’t do it on their own. There have been miracles in my life that have happened because I know God’s hand was on me and guiding me. There have been struggles I have been gone through that I the outcome was hopeless and I tried everything I could to fix the problem or issue on my own and failed miserably, but when I went to God’s Word and finally asked for His help the problems were fixed and the outcomes were positive.

Romans 8:28
28We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God—those whom he has called according to his plan.

My dilemma is what is my real calling? Why am I really here? I know I have one! I thought my calling was this one certain ministry but it has been one frustration after another and there are some battle scars that I have with that ministry.

There is another ministry that I am also involved with that I enjoy doing and I know I’m making a difference in those people’s lives.

So I need to spend some time deep in prayer seeking God to see what he wants me to do…bow out of the first one and just focus on the second or fight through both of them.

So why am I telling you all of this? Actually, I don’t know! This has been on my heart for a while and I just needed to express this. Maybe this post will somehow put some things into perspective for you, or maybe this post will just help me think things through better, but either or I know God is in control and whatever the outcome is I’m going to serve Him to the best of my ability.

My life does have a purpose and I am so happy I serve a living God that cares for me, has lifted me up when I needed him, has shared my joys, and knows everything about me.

Matthew 10:29-31
29-31″What’s the price of a pet canary? Some loose change, right? And God cares what happens to it even more than you do. He pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail—even numbering the hairs on your head! So don’t be intimidated by all this bully talk. You’re worth more than a million canaries.

People ask me sometimes, “Mike, how do you know God is real?” You know because of the experiences you have with Him. You know because you see positive outcomes in situations that were so hopeless and so negative you can only know that it’s God that carried you through those situations. You know because there is a joy in your life that you just can’t explain. You know because you can feel His presence in your life. You know…because you just know. It’s hard to explain if you’re not a Christian. It’s like an extra sense or an extra feeling that you have. I guess that’s the most easiest way to explain it.

So how to end this post? Well, I’ve been thinking about that for the past 20 minutes! I guess what I’m going to do is like I said spend some time in prayer about my ministry calling and seek direction from God. If anyone has any good books they can suggest I would appreciate that too!

If you’re still reading this I hope my post has somehow helped you out as well. I am human, I am normal, and I do have struggles just like everyone else does. I just take my struggles to God trust in Him that He will work things out.

I do want to leave you with a video from one of my favorite bands, The David Crowder Band. I hope you enjoy this song as much as I enjoy it.

UPDATE
After spending some time with God in prayer I have decided to stay in both ministries and go in a different direction with one of the ministries that I have been focusing on. I’m looking forward to the doors that are going to be open with this ministry and to see lives changed because of it!

I’m reading a great book now called In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day. It’s about how to thrive and survive when opportunity roars. Many people like to run when they see “lions”…I like to chase ‘em and defeat ‘em!

Tags: Character, Influence, Integrity, self-respect, serving
Posted in Leadership | 13 Comments »

A Sad Situation

July 8th, 2009 by Michael Feil

Christina (my wife) and I took custody of a 17 year old girl that is a junior in high school back in October 2008 (she is now 18). She was in a very bad situation and needed a family to love and care for her. So we went through the court system and became her legal guardians. She joined our family with our two other daughters Morgan (6), and Callie (4).

Christina and I told her that if she was gonna live here she would live by our rules (which are not very strict) and she would become part of our family. We told her we would treat her like our own daughter. We gave her love, support, told her that we were proud of her, and just tried to build her up by giving her positive influence.

About five months into her staying at our house we noticed a change in her. Her actions became negative, our discussions about her behavior became more often, and even though we showered her with the care and affection every daughter needs her behavior became worse.

About a month ago she was scheduled to fly and see her mom for a month. The night before she left she did something so bad that it put my family (especially my two little girls) in a dangerous situation. After I took care of this dangerous situation my wife and I talked with her for the next four hours about her life, her actions, her decisions, and what’s been going on recently. We found out about a lot of bad stuff that was going down.

The next day when before Christina dropped her off at the airport I told her that she has 1 month to think about her actions and how she wants to live, and Christina and I has 1 month to decide if we are going to accept her back into our family, let alone into our house again.

During this past month Christina and I found out even more stuff that was going on and that was continuing to go on while she was away. So that shows us that she still doesn’t care about her actions nor the harmful life that she is living. So I informed her today that she will not living with us when she arrives back to Delaware, and that she can live with her dad now that he is back in town (which isn’t a great situation but she made the decision by her actions).

I think there are two main themes here (I may think of more as I am typing).
The first one is SELF-RESPCT. One thing that we have found out and that she has admitted is that she doesn’t have any self-respect. If you don’t respect yourself or have any self-worth then you can’t have any meaningful goals, dreams, or aspirations. Without self-respect you will never be successful. Without self-respect you life will go into a downward spiral.

Self-respect is vital to living a healthy lifestyle, making the right decisions, and learning to love yourself. If you can’t love or accept who you are then of course you will walk around with a non-caring attitude and you will put yourself in every bad situation that you can possibly think of.

People can not make you respect yourself. That has to come deep from within you. Christina and I saw the potential in this young girl. She finished this year on the honor roll, getting sports awards, and was really in a good situation, but because she didn’t see what Christina and I saw (even though we gave her the positive comments and love and care that she needed) she has made several wrong decisions.

Her comment to me was that she was a mess up and will always be that way. I tried several times to explain to her that it doesn’t have to be that way. She can get out of the situation she is in and can be happy and have a good life. I gave her the example of Christina coming from a family where everyone fights and no one get along. Chrisitna made the decision one day that she is not going to live that way and took herself out of that situation because she wanted to be happy and have a good life…and she did.

I tried to explain to her (just like my tag line says) that Chrisitna and I have been feeding her POSITIVE INFORMATION these past several months, because she never ACTED on the information we gave her she never got POSTIVE RESULTS. If you act on information from someone that has more experience than you, most of the time you are going to get positive results. How’s the saying go…You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.

Your life is what YOU make of it, and to be honest, life is too short to live a life of hating yourself and not caring about the world around you. Change is hard, it’s not easy, and it takes work, but if your are willing to put in the time and stick to your goals you will see small improvements there and there and eventually you will be out of the situation you were once in.

The second thing is that your actions affects others. This girl we were taking care of didn’t think of that. She was putting herself in a dangerous situation, which put my family in a dangerous situation, which put me in a dangerous situation because I had to quickly get the situation under control. So because of her negative actions she will not be living in our house anymore. So her actions have affected herself, her mom and dad because they now have to deal with her, me and Christina because of her betrayal, and my two little girls because now I have to find a way to explain to them why their “big sister” is not living with us anymore.

What ever you do, positive or negative, affects people. It doesn’t just affect yourself. Things that you do, big things or little things, have an affect on the environment around you. People notice when you do things big or small, and when they see what you do they will form an opinion, they will think about what you did, and they may respond positively or negatively to how you acted.

For example, an elderly person is having trouble carrying in their groceries from their car to their house. He sees you watching him, he already has a negative opinion formed of the “younger generation” and you do nothing to help him. This proves to him that their opinion was right. Now if you go and show one act of kindness…one positive act their opinion may be changed because you showed you care. You may not of thought what you did was a big deal, but it was an opinion changing action to that elderly person.

Your actions don’t just affect you!

So take away what you want from this post. It’s just sad to see this happen. I am disappointed in her actions, but I can say with a clear conscience that Christina and I did everything we could to help her out. She just didn’t want the help. Her negative actions are catching up to her and she is going to get hit hard soon. I just feel bad for her when that day comes. But like I said, she made her choice.

One thing’s for sure, this will not hinder Christina and I from helping people. That is what we’re about! We’re trying to make a positive impact on this world and we will do it one action at a time…and if you don’t want it we’ll move on to the next person. But I hope you want it because no one deserves to live in many of the circumstances that are out there today.

I wish you all the best! Please comment and retweet this if you can.